29 on the 29th
Many apologies for not updating this blog after Day 0. after the transplant, it was very difficult to do anything other than focus on my recovery. I don’t remember much but i do remember sleeping alot to allow the nausea and the pain pass over me. I was given a a pain pump so that i could self-administer narcotics to help tide me over–my trigger finger hasn’t been this tone in a while.
I could describe in the finest details about how painful my mouth became, or how it felt like swallowing razors when i tried, or how my skin still is marked by the radiation–of how terrible it was, but that’s NOT what i want to do today: today is my birthday! and i want to talk about how well I am–or rather, how blessed i am to even see this day.
when i went in for my transplant, i fully expected that i would still be in the hospital by this day. I was truly blessed to be discharged two days ago: the donor cells have quickly engrafted and proliferated, and i was able to tolerate life off of the pain meds and the IV-food pretty well. And although I am not 100% yet (there are still gut issues that i am having), I’d say that I’m doing as well as I can be. Each day since my discharge has been better–i am tolerating food and water better. My nausea (my friend) is a tolerated presence.
But i’m getting sidetracked again and i don’t wish to describe how things are physically going with me except to say that they are “well”. I want to really talk about how when i was initially diagnosed with AML, the thought that I may not reach 30 has lingered. Will I die young or can this decade of my twenties be a transition to a long fulfilling life beyond? Will i ever wake up from this nightmare?
I don’t know. and at the cusp of my twenties, i dare not stir up any false hopes. but as i look out of my apartment window, to see little green buds on the trees outside–drenched but persevering in a nasty rain, i can’t help but think of Spring and warmth and rebirth. I can only hope that this year i will finally get my answer: I am closer to thirty than I have ever been: only 365 days and a smoot to go. A year of full bodied dreams i once had coming to greet me as birthday guests. *That* is my birthday wish!
Count with me people: 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35…etc and beyond and never again.
ps. some of you know that i love numbers–and i just want to remind you that 29 as a prime number make today doubly “auspicious”: 29 on the 29th!
Blood Work 
Hope dad cooked you some delicious Jello for your bday.
dude, you’re 29 on the 29th the same year I’m 30 on the 30th!
“Hope is not an electoral slogan, but an act of the will. That is why the springtime of the human spirit can be the most gorgeous rebirth of all.”
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2010/03/22/springtime_the_chance_to_leave_darkness_behind/
I was told when you turn the age of your birthday it is called your Golden Birthday. My golden birthday you started this journey, for your’s you are near the end of this chapter, and ready to start the next. I’m glad you are doing well, hope the nausea and the rain subside and spring comes in full tilt.
@jill dad cooked some stew that resembled jello, but was not in any bright color (which disappointed me)
@henry remember when we ate that whole pig one time for your birthday? that was excessive–lets just focus on the ribs this year…corky’s? i’m up for the drive
@brian =) last time we saw each other, it was fall. lets take advantage of this spring thing and meetup soon!
@lori i really hope that it is as you say: that our golden birthdays are bookends to this…”lori and len’s excellent adventure”(?)