lungs lungs lungs

i’ve seen some of you recently, and by the symetric relationship of “being seen”, some of you have seen me. and what you saw was that my lungs are still in bad shape. many of you asked if things might get better, and i honestly don’t know. but i tried to leave things on a hopeful note, though i have given up on my lungs: it’s sometimes good to be a little unhealthy.

i remember last year, just as i was preparing for the transplant, going through the “informed consent” interview with the radiation dr–basically we talked about what the radiation treatment could possibly f* up. (in case you’re wondering, the answer is everything).
>”Do you have any other questions?”
>”um, nope.”
>”Ok, please sign here”

that night i played the morbid game of what i would sacrifice. dry mouth- OK!, skin that would make me look like a freak, NOT OK. sensitivity to sunlight- OK! kidney disease?-DEFINITELY NOT OK!

of course all of my vital organs were all clearly in the DEFINITELY NOT OK category. but i think my playmate felt gipped with my answers. (the last time i had dry mouth was when i had to give that speech at that moustache convention). i’m sorry dear lungs–i should have answered brains, because they aren’t doing us any good.

~ by lentaing on April 13, 2011.