some unfinished things

i have not been able to finish things recently–the past three entry attempts being just examples. i have felt that i’ve left many things left on the table and many things unsaid. all of them are centered around the one year anniversary which i passed recently with my family and friends. *i am thankful to God*. but the moment i try to explain how or why, i get lost in a maze of ineffable emotions.

i don’t want to leave you with the wrong impression. yes! i thank God for being alive! but being alive subsumes the suffering that life encompasses–namely the pain of being separated from the Creator; the pain of still living in sin. and even if i could forget about my own sins and pains, how could i turn blind to the sins and sufferings of this world? how do i not despair at how lost everything seems to be?

all cancer survivors must also die.

and then i am reminded that this world will pass away and be reborn; and then i am reminded that i will pass away and be reborn. (soon Lord, i pray).

all cancer survivors must also die, but we have been given a foretaste of our rebirth.

for i have been reborn–or have had a foretaste of it (and i am thankful for that!) but my eyes are dazzled by what i have seen: the ineffable which will all be made clear–which will all be resolved when the curtains finally go down on this (exhausting) show.

but for now, my life–evermore, is an unfinished thing. strewn among the heaps of unfinished things of this world, where it may be lost. what gains a man if he beats cancer only to lose his soul?

Praise be to our Lord who finished it!!! Praise the Lord our God who promises to finish unfinished things.

~ by lentaing on March 23, 2011.